Don't use any lubricant / grease containing petroleum products (copper grease does) near rubber seals and gaiters as it will damage the rubber. I have used TRW PFG110 brake grease for a while on slide pins and cylinder seals and had no problems.
I have attached a PDF photo of 'Bremtech' slide pins I bought from brakes international, they are made in Denmark and look good quality, they supply a sachet of grease with the kit.
As for tearing the rubber bellows, if you don't hold the flat on the slide pin to stop it turning (17mm thin spanner) while trying to unscrew the holding bolt the bellows get twisted as the whole pin assembly turns (and the holding bolt will not unscrew), I have an old bicycle type spanner and a ground down normal spanner that I use to slip into the gap between the end of bellows and the caliper.