First of all, a couple of questions.
Do you have, low down on the centre console, a socket with a flap over it marked "USB"? It's probably just to the right of the cigar lighter.
And do you have, possibly hiding in the glove box, a short cable with a square plug on one end that fits into the above socket, and a standard USB socket on the other end? It should look something like this.....
If you have the above-mentioned USB socket with the flap over it then you should also have the short length of cable. It's a sort of adaptor cable to convert the proprietary Honda USB socket to a standard USB one. If you bought the car second hand it's possible that this short adaptor cable has got lost or nicked; that happened to me. If so, you'll have to get another one. I don't know the Honda part number, but I do know it's ludicrously expensive for what it is - about £65. I was lucky and found one on eBay. Once you've found this adaptor cable and plugged it into your car's USB port, you can then plug the iPod's USB cable into the adaptor's USB socket. Press "AUX" on the car radio a couple of times if necessary. The car radio will then control the iPod (including the steering wheel controls). It will also charge the iPod.
Incidentally, you can also plug a USB memory stick into the adaptor's USB socket and the car radio will play any audio files it finds.
All of this should be in your User Manual.